BECOMING WHAT YOU THINK

"Repeat a mantra and you become it. That is why I practice not feeling exhaustion. In the morning I initiate my self propaganda and brain wash by saying “I am energized, I feel energized” time after time after time. I keep on as I get dressed. I cannot afford to focus on tuning in to the drained sensation, the “I’m so tired” comment I try to ban, making it a NONpart of my vocabulary.
You are what you think. You become what you think. I know this. My body does what my mind says, so the solution is to make that mind so powerful, so strong, so independent from the body you can do nothing but win every battle.

My strongest asset is not my body, my mind is. I’ve worked years to be tough, to be disciplined. When my muscles say “slow down” I dig deeper, ask myself “so how much do you want this, keep the eye on the reward”.

During cardio, some sessions, I climb the machine and the lactic acid kicks in right away because it takes a few minutes for the aerobic system to work, but the muscles are so depleted they get acidic from nothing…. Oh, those minutes I wonder how on earth will I make it to push hard, to get to my high heart rate, the right zone to improve body composition. And then I know, I am just pacing myself, I KNOW I can do it, I just need to push ONCE. So I do… I get my most motivating beat on, I increase the speed, the effort, the power and see my heart rate slowly slowly raise. I am just a few beats from my PEAK I want to reach to feel like I did my best and there I get stuck. That damn heart is so strong, the muscles so tired but I DO I DO I DO not QUIT until I GET THERE!!!!!!!! I keep on pushing, eyes not leaving the display, raise damn it, raise up to the max, come on just give it to me!!!!!! No way do I want to slow down because I am scared I won’t be able to get that close again and I don’t want to go for another try. I give it my ALL.

And I reach it. I can slow down. Once again I know I am in charge. If I just set my mind to it I can push harder than anybody else. It does not matter I don’t give the fuel for the activity, my body should do what I tell it to do.

For me cardio was never a “walk in the time”. Every session has a purpose, every session has a reason, a target, a goal. I am just as anxious about those as I were at repping my deadlifts better than ever or increase the weight in the squats. But this is another game…. I see stars, yeah, I need to hold on to the machine because honestly I’m embarassed I’d fall some time….. I’ve never passed out in my whole life and I won’t now either but the thought has crossed my mind.

I FEEL ENERGIZED, I AM FULL OF ENERGY. You become what you think. So I choose to think I am invincible."

Pauline Nordin - Pauline's Ramble, 27 December 2009